Burried in the Holy Land

A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150.00?" The man replied, "A man died here 2000 years ago, was buried here,and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

this one is Good : - GOOD WEED!

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?"The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come on up and have some."So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and he's going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.A crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking ajoint with a monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.The crocodile says he has to check out this pot smoking monkey so he walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you monkey!"The monkey looks down and says durn dude........how much water did you drink?"

An old man and woman...

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other। When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night।The old woman would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"Neighbors feared her They believed she practiced blackmagic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood।The old woman liked the fact that she was feared। To everyone's relief, she died of a heart attack when she was 68.He had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, he went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.His neighbors, concerned for his safety, asked,"Aren't you afraid that she may indeed be able to dig her way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"The Man put down his drink and said, "Let her dig.
I had her buried upside down......."